| how embarassing... |
ok. so i am now very aware of the fact that the sadcase, that is my life, is very much open to conversation and yes, jokes, jovial teasing and criticisms (not much of this i dont think...well i hope not )... and in all honesty i welcome it all. so much so that i am so close to endorsing it. i dare say its because it means that if this is the case, then none of what happens has to be taken seriously, and that i would be grateful for =P because really, if it all meant the end of the world to me, then it wouldn't be fun at all!
oh and in mentioning criticisms, i realise that honesty can be a bitch, but at the same time, is the best friend you can have...
[ this is just a mini rant, resulting from a reflection on today's occurences...or non-occurences... so if it doesn't make sense, don't worry : ) ]
also. i have come to the realisation that the tv shows previously deemed essential to my wellbeing, don't give me any sense of real satisfaction anymore. and at this extreemely subtle peaki in nerdosity - i feel that none of it is more satisfying than getting that really hard maths question, or writing up a set of really pretty and neat notes : ) ...
so im taking this chance of blindsightedness to declare a vow to nerdiness. that i wont offput studies for an hour (or more) of unsatisfying procrastination. . . .that mild sense of being entertained doesn't recover the guilt of being a horrible hsc student. grr.
plus, any great shows or movies or books (or life in general it seems) missed out now can easily be made up for during the 4 months of holidays (4 months, 12 days away!) later :) yesyes.
this is a moment of dedication which i hope wont slip too easily.
not too much longer to go, so hopefully it wont be too hard.
gosh i hope im serious abt this.
xox |
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| 1 Comments: |
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that was the most nonsensical post ever. =p
calm down, man.
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that was the most nonsensical post ever. =p
calm down, man.