Um this is totally random, but my Mum has begun buying tins of baked/buttered beans, because apparently I don't eat enough beans. So... if you find yourself asking "wtf let off that stink bomb?!" during our english paper 1, you can bet its me. (I can't believe I've just prematurely incriminated myself.)
Okay, onto less gross things. I started a new diary today. Call it procrastination, call it whatever, but I like reading back on my old diaries. Yeah this blog is diary too, and sorta better because I can post photos too. But there are still the really personal stuff, and also for me, a handwritten diary has more sentimental value. And I still can't help thinking that one day the internet will become obsolete or something, or that Blogger/Google will crash big time (as unlikely as it may sound).
I really really like this photo.
If I had enough talent I would definitely become a photographer.
firstly my old man crush, Paul Newman, died on Saturday...
and although it's probably a little inappropriate and shallow for me to have mentioned this (since i haven't even seen more than two of his films, or bought any of his newman's own products, or actually know him) it saddened me a little and ye.
well, this post was mostly gonna be about sunday - which i got to spend with lovely dori : ) i've known her since primary school - a whopping 9 years - but oddly enough, it wasn't until we left primary school, that i felt we were good friends..
chance meetings on busrides towards similar destinations meant, and still mean, we constantly had time for good talks or mutually air out our frustrations !
anyways that day was a mix of her belated birthday (happy eighteeeen !), graduations and long time no sees...so of course it called for a cupcake shout! (how else do i ever celebrate?)
these were from the 'we take the cake' cupcakery in bondi, conveniently located around the corner from our tutoring. mine was a red velvet, she had the milk chocolate. They were simple but tasty, and the thick lickable icing was the kind i'm so dying to recreate :(
i miss having long conversations with friends, and cupcakes....but one more month and i can revel in such good things for as long as i want !
And hear hear to Moey's post below. (the school bit, not the I'm-talking-about-a-guy-but-i don't-want-you-to-know bit.) At the moment I feel a bit like I've been ostracised out of the school. Some people from other schools have said that they're almost glad to leave their school, but I will definitely miss our nerd-haven.
To tell you the truth, I almost rejected the offer back then. I took the selective test, but my parents didn't really plan for me to go. So after term two year 6, my parents took the whole family back to China, and the plan was to stay there for two years and we would return in time for me to start year 9 back at my old school (my primary school also had a high school). My parents had sold the car, informed . And then I found out I got into Sydney Girls, and I had to make the decision whether I was gonna take the offer and drag the whole family back to Sydney after only 6 months, or stay in China at the crappy International School for another two years. I remember I felt so stressed that I had to make, what felt at the time, such a big decision. Eventually I decided to go to Sydney Girls. It was selfish, I know, but I'm glad I did. This would be my cue to gush on about the memories and our awesomeness, but I think that we've had enough cheesiness (lol I'll never see that word the same way again) to last us a while.
*Edit: I had something highly amusing I was gonna post, but due to a vow of truce that if broken involves shouting 4 ppl lunch, I have to abstain until tomorrow.
*Edit again: I just realised it's now technically Saturday.! that means I CAN post it. Harhar.
*Edit again: I'm a nice friend so I took it off. If you saw it, good for you, if you didn't...what can I say.
this post is bordering on the very personal side but im sick of being careful - besides my stories are all in vague terms so unless you really know me, you wouldn't understand! (i hope)
today i finally resolved to 'give up' on a certain...lets call it something. this 'thing' has made me stress over what i now realise to be a stupid dilemma, every friday afternoon: do i sit alone? or do i sit with friends whom i rarely get the chance to meet?
why? because some'thing' might happen. and you all know it rarely ever does.
today i made the obvious decision to sit with friends, but today i didn't feel that pang of regret or (as i now see it) desperation.
anyways as it always happens, something sat with a someone else - do you catch my drift? - and they had a wonderfully chatty conversation.
it flowed on from graduations to formals to friends in common...and none of it was related to any of my experiences.. (ok this was a hefty amount of eavesdropping, but my only other option would've been maths which, in an overcaffinated state, was not possible). They had so many things in common which did sting me a little, but as my mind processed this whole thing at a million miles a second, i realised i couldn't care less, kind of. i mean, if this happened two weeks ago, or last week even, i would've been pulling my hair out at this stage, but the whole graduation (being forced to leave so many things behind) thing has made me reflect on what i really want from personal relationships - and i know i just want them to be real i.e. one that isn't forced or pretentious. it seems like an obvious thing, but its taken me like 10 weeks to understand.
saying this both out loud and reafffirming it 'in' loud has been a HUGE relief, one like you could not believe. and yes, i still am a little curious about what couldv'e been, but now i find myself more interested in meeting the end of all of it.
concluding thoughts: If there is a friendship i think it would be good, but if there is nothing else except embarassing memories, i think that would be ok as well :P .
.
x
PS. i went to school today, to pay some overdue fees, and the realisation of our graduation began to sink in. its scary but the state of denial is kind of passing and i realise how sad i am to no longer be apart of such a great place... wow i never thought i'd be mourning my highschool life!
i think i'll miss all the security of being in a nerd-haven. even if it made me feel inadequate at times, its still the place where i met so many beautiful people, and so many memories and my gosh the cheesiness won't end- it really is the '08 legacy ! harharhar.
The day that had once seemed as far away as the edge of the universe has finally come.
I am sitting in the nude coloured chair, just like the one I sat in on the first day of year seven six years ago. Lynn sits next to me, just like the first day, but Palak has replaced Tisha. The hall that had seemed so cavernous on that defining day had become familiar over the years; music performances, skits, awards, musicales, bin ball, and last but not least, exams.
I wonder if I will finally cry today. It doesn't take long. Nina's speech finally triggers something, and the tears start to flow. I can't stop, but the year 7's cheese analogy helps. ("you are the rockfort. we are the plasticky cheddar.") .
In the past, the graduation assembly had been like a wake up call that we were another year older, another year closer to the HSC. But the speeches themselves seemed so cliched and so cheesy. Not today. It's our turn now, and every word pricks me painfully and I cling onto it like it's my lifeline, like that awesome dream that fades faster with every second.
It's nearly the end of the assembly. Ms Varady (she will be forever Ms to me) walks up to the podium again. She calls for Ms Young to come up. People start to joke that Ms Young is in trouble. Then.
"We too will be retiring at the end of this year."
Shock. We hold our breath, waiting for her to laugh "April Fools!" It doesn't come, and everyone hesistantly claps, still trying to process her words. My tears flow uncontrollably now. What will become of our beloved school now?
I am walking through the tunnel of brown, white and yellow, and tears are flowing as liberally as the hot water in the common room on a cold morning. It's embarassing having the year 11s watch you while you are blubbering like an idiot. I know I look absolutely awful, but can't be bothered to care. Outside, everyone has puffy red eyes. Moey asks me whether I'm crying out of happiness or sadness; but I don't know.
What will the school be like without Ms Young and Ms Varady? They, together with Ms Morrison, Ms Harper, Mr Mac and Ms Herbet are like the skeletons and the brains of this school. The school will move on, but it won't be the same. I wish every future student who is lucky enough to come through this school to have the same freaking fantastic experience as us, but I guess things must change. As Ms Young is so fond of saying, When one door closes, another one opens. Who knows, maybe our next principal and Head Welfare will be even better. Not that I believe it will be possible. I can't even begin to express how lucky and privilege I feel.
But I hope that enough of an impression has been left to last the school for years to come so that our school will continue to be what is arguably the best school in the whole freaking world. I don't want our school's glory days (if I may say so) to be over, as egotistic and elitist as it may sound.
But firstly we must make sure that we'll help keep up the school's glory for at least this year. So let's get crackin'.
(I'm still red and puffy eyed in this photo. =S )
Bon chance tout le monde. Good luck and all the best from the bottom of my heart. We will rock the world, Class of 08.
p.s. I still haven't taken photos with everyone =(
I will never again catch the bus with the juniors (even if I complain about it), never again be rowdy and block the train with you guys, all under the excuse of being a school kid. I will never be able to use that excuse again. I think I will especially miss the HSC excuse to get away with virtually anything.
Yesterday, at Strathfield I saw a lot of people that I only get to see coming home from school. It was really nice, since it might be the last time I will get to see most of them. Most of them them were like, "How's the studying going?" um, what studying?
But I think it's finally hit me that I am about to do my HSC in three weeks, after it was incessantly drilled into me during the three hours at work today. Mr Eye Candy and this other girl Catherine, who both graduated last year, told me to do at least 5 past papers for each subject rather than revising...which means I have about 75 hours of past papers to do. I guess I should, since just about every older kid has said the same thing.
It pretty much means I have to do about 4hrs every night. So I guess I'm gonna be blogging less often; but I'll try to get around to posting the hundreds of photos from the past few days.
Meanwhile, you can amuse yourselves with this one. =)
OMG we were so hyper today. I ate a record-breaking THREE ice creams in the space of 5 periods.
I've also found this video "Why we drink" which is the most amusing and poignant representation of life I have seen in a while.
It's a little embarrassing, but I'll admit that I was actually excited to watch Wall.E. So under the pretense of being nice to my brother, I took him to watch it today. I guess that after watching the extended trailer and all the other lil clips that accompanied the ads, I expected a wee bit too much...and got disappointed. The beginning was fantastic, but then as the movie developed the focus shifted from Wall.e himself and onto the humans and it sort of became more moralistic than anything. Yes, a bit of morality is good, but Wall.E was the sole reason I wanted to watch the movie. Seriously, Wall.E was soo absolutely adorable it's beyond words. [ie I'm too lazy to try and be expressive.]
Omg I can't believe I spent that much time talking about a kiddy film. But then again, Pixar films are better than alot of the crap that gets churned out of Hollywood every second or so.
Yep, I've also added a bunch of blogs (ones that have stood the test of time) to the blogroll. More for my convenience than anything else, since it will let me visit them at work by only memorising this blog's url. [Have I ever mentioned that the new computer system at work now lets us play solitaire and use the net while we're on the cash registers.? It's so awesome I never want to leave. But I think they'll figure it out soon and take it down. =( ]
The other day my mum bought a Peter Alexander T-shirt which said "Super Biatch". She asked me what it meant, because I think she suspected something. How the hell was I supposed to explain "Super Biatch" in Chinese.? And anyway I had formulated a plan in my head; I had to make it sound inappropriate for her to wear it, but totally fine for me. And I succeeded. Hehe.
Yeah this post is going nowhere. So I'll add a few more photos from the last few days to make sure this has not been a total waste of time. (I haven't bothered to photoshop these)
To infinity and beyond.
"Do you trust me.?"
Us trying to doing jumping photo with self-timer. Failed miserably.
Then Colleen offered to take the photo, and after many attempts, we succeeded. Yayas.
'the girl least likely' was an australian story episode that made me cry like a big loser! But, the thing is, it made me realise that the best thing about friendship is knowing that nothing we ever go through, should be dealt with alone. and it won't be - this is a promise i make as your friend.
whatever it is, no matter how ashamed or scared you are of it, it is not greater than the bonds we've established. it can be dealt with, and all you have to do is talk(!)
this post is a lot of sappy assness, but also of honesty and heartiness. this thing called friendship is a place without judgement. x
Engineering has once again made its way back to the top of my options list for Uni. I was talking to Mr Eye Candy (He has a gf, so shut up, he is purely eye candy) at work today, and he managed to convince me to consider engineering again.
When I first dismissed it as an option barely a week ago, I had told myself that it would be too much physics, so I might end up hating it. He said that civil engineering, which is what I had been considering, is only basic physics, and more maths which I don't really mind. I also told myself that since it was so male dominated, I would be a bit ostracised, or have to face sexist stuff (not that I would take it face down). He told me that everyone gets along really well; in fact, since it was mainly guys, there was a lot less bitchiness going on than say, law.
Yeah, as you can see, those were pretty much my only two reasons for not doing engineering, and he basically shot them down in less than ten minutes.
And then if I'm doing engineering, I have to decide what I want to combine it with. The most practical one would be arts, since I applied for a scholarship in that faculty and also because I want to do languages. However, commerce would make me richer. I think my perfect degree would be Engineering/Economics and Social Sciences/International and Global studies.
And then I would have to decide whether I want to go Usyd or UNSW, since they say science-y stuff is better at UNSW.
Maaaaan his 'help' just made my life more stressful. I now have about 10 options all vying for the top spot.
So yesterday was Moon Fest, and my house was crammed full of relatives. So I thought it would be a good chance to get donations for 40hr Famine.
Well, I got $13.30, from about a houseful of about 20 people.
Okay, I get it, you don't have much change on you. But you don't have to look at me, annoyed, and say, "Oh you're doing it again? You do it every year."
Well, you see, as much as we'd all like it to be possible, the few bucks that you gave me last year only went so far in lifting the hundreds of millions of people out of absolute poverty, child labour, sex slavery, and all the other problems that they face while you sit there, eating to your heart's content, complaining about getting fat, discussing your new iPhone, iPod, plasma tv, designer bag, Christmas holiday, etc.
I admit that most of the time, I too am only thinking about my own little world where I'm always complaining I don't have enough money despite the fact that nothing is actually lacking. But at least I will donate with an open heart when someone asks.
(BTW I'm not attacking people for being stingy or anything; I'm just annoyed when people greet my only attempt of the year at charity with a tone that makes me feel like I'm doing something disgraceful. Like I'm forcing you to give me money to feed my ice addiction or something.)
Now that I got that off my chest, let's move onto something more cheerrrful. Here's some photos from Karen's birthday, back at the beginning of September. Photos from Thai's facebook.
Waiting around... First we love- handcuffed Karen to the railing.
THE cuffs (which broke eventually): Then we went hotpot.
Shit that stuff was hot. We drank through 4 bottles of milk tea.
Then we went ice cream at Riviera, to cool down. (That was a bad move for my stomach.)
unwrapping presents.
Then k. Then began the record breaking marathon of camwhoring by certain people. I've only put two of them here, but trust me, I've just tagged a whole album on facebook.
This is Priceless. (I would insert the Mastercard joke... but I'm too lazy to come up with one)
Then we got bored/tired and started with the love cuffs again.
There is seriously not one decent photo of me. Most of them are along the lines of:
chance meetings on busrides towards similar destinations meant, and still mean, we constantly had time for good talks or mutually air out our frustrations !
